Tuesday

I had a five-week vacation, Tết holiday, wonderful guests, and jetlag. Then another vacation for good measure. These exciting things preempted blogging for awhile. I'm trying to get back into the habit. There was so much happening that I also put off returning to the gym. For months that gym and I had a steady thing going on, a midnight rendezvous. Our relationship verged on abusive, and I frequently felt battered. But I loved that gym! God help me, I even looked forward to seeing it every day. Then over our vacation estrangement I think we grew apart. During much of last year that place was like an addiction; but I've become addicted to other rooms, now. It's been a real pain in my butt making myself go through the motions again. I tell myself I'm doing it for the kids. We're trying to talk things through, of course, to work things out. But the problem is me: I've weakened our bonds during this trial. Every relationship takes work, but it's been really tough on me. Why? Over months of disuse I didn't suddenly atrophy or suffer a cardiovascular decline. But I did forget how to run. Running is not, apparently, like riding a bike. I think the human body likes to run; but it's requiring practice to convince my body of this. It also takes practice to be effective. Since going steady with the gym again, I've become frustrated because I want to perform like I did back in December. My legs are strong, my breath is good. But I’ve forgotten how to get my feet down quickly and correctly. I'm out of synch, so I keep hurting myself. Also, the resulting treadmill abuse produces a nasty burning rubber smell, something I'll avoid personifying with relationship terminology. [Cavin]