Monday

By eleven this morning the show was over. Seventy-some Miss Wherevers were riding golf carts back home to what might've been their first resort hotel cocktail in Vietnam. Miss Venezuela was not. The newly-dubbed Miss Universe was enduring her first press conference after that nation's fifth victory in the pageant, which incidentally ended one long dry spell for the Venezuelan beauty queen machine. Dayana Mendoza squeaked ahead of a talented Miss Colombia during typically asinine questions from leering judges: "When is a woman satisfied?" --bitch please. During the press conference, she was forced to endure more asininity. Some journalists harbor prejudices about beauty queens. Compare this story with this one. In both, Miss Universe is asked about her kidnapping, and in both she answers with a canned non-sequitur. But in one she's presented as an engaged young woman and in the other she's characterized as fluffy ditz. Without clicking, guess which story is from the USA. Big pageant news again this year: Miss USA's tumble down the stairs in her evening gown. The US journalist linked above tries to demonstrate a pre-show hubris I'm not sure I'm getting from her quote. Many journalists chuckled over Crystal Stewart's spill, comparing it with last year's. I don't see much comparison. Miss USA 2007 fell all the way down and got equally back up with undeniable poise,¹ whereas Miss Stewart awkwardly caught herself and, unwilling to sit and unable to stand, wobbled in a unleveraged crouch before finally righting herself.² Then she gave herself a big overhead clap, sealing her semi-finalist position. It was all Jerry Springer's fault: the emcee totally announced her twice. It was that second cue when, concerned she was coming on four seconds too early, Miss Stewart physically stuttered on the glossy steps and fell ass-over-teakettle. [Cavin]