Thursday

After Tuesday's exciting movie* it was difficult to be in bed by midnight for an early Wednesday school day. Or: after Tuesday morning's panic, sleeping was difficult since I was already panicking about Wednesday. Back on Monday, after those first bewildering classes, I'd told myself I'd give this Vietnamese course one week to see if I finally adjusted. By Tuesday night I was feeling more practical: I knew I was going to cancel my classes eventually--they were taking too much of my remaining time, and also squandering too much creative energy. They were sapping my ability to pursue necessary parts of my livelihood. In any event, they were institutionalizing the sort of deskbound existence I'm trying to habituate myself away from. A seven week language course probably isn't enough to imagine much return, in ability, on the seemingly endless investment I felt was necessary to continue. Lastly, Vietnamese is a course of language study I've every reason to believe I can attack with comparable efficacy once I'm actually in Vietnam. I laid in bed thinking these thoughts, unable to sleep. Eventually I got up and politely cancelled my classes in an email to my course supervisor. I feel mostly good about this decision, one I think I anticipated eventually making at the end of the week. Still, I feel a bit like a quitter who didn't give this its proper chance. No matter. I now have time for my few remaining months in the US, dominated by the grueling logistics of travel, weddings, and lingering temporary goodbyes. Also, I was able to wash dishes yesterday, write, and actually enjoy a slow Vietnamese meal with friends. At the restaurant I was able to order coffee in Vietnamese without looking at a menu. My accent was apparently pretty good. [Cavin]