Friday, February 02, 2007


In honor of yesterday's road trip to Lexington, Kentucky, I've distilled the following three-act play entitled NUTS.


EXTERIOR, late afternoon, parking lot. CAVIN, BET, and SUNSHINE stare at BET's CAR, among many in a CROWDED LOT.

BET: Is that tire flat?


SUNSHINE: [looking for her phone] I have Triple-A.

BET: I have Triple-A, too. [Opens trunk] Let's just change it ourselves real fast.

CAVIN: [looking around] This car is parked awfully close.

BET: [stands up with jack] Let's just do it fast. We still have to get your wedding present later. Triple-A'll take an hour.

BET: [hands the jack to CAVIN] Here, I've never done this before.


EXTERIOR, later afternoon, parking lot. CAVIN has removed four lug nuts and jacked-up the car. Sunshine is holding the lug wrench.

CAVIN: [holds up lug nuts] Somebody take these.

BET: [pockets the lugs] I got them.

CAVIN strains to remove frozen-into-place tire. Tiny Japanese holes in the wheel aren't much bigger than their screws in the assembly. In the small space between cars, CAVIN beats the rim with the wrench, and then his boot. There is little headway]

BET: I'll walk to the Shell and get a can of Fix-a-Flat.

CAVIN: [panting] The car's already jacked-up.

BET: Be right back.


EXTERIOR, dusk, parking lot. CAVIN hasn't given up: he's kicked the screeching tire with his foot, while propped against the other closely-parked car, until it finally comes off.

CAVIN: [rolling the flat around to trunk, out of breath] Okay, one down.

CAVIN, after a little more effort and extra noise, manages to get tiny-holed mini-spare onto the wheel assembly, where he has to hold it in place.

CAVIN: So, does Bet still have the lug nuts in her pocket?

SUNSHINE: Yes she does.


Then, a 0 sided conversation ensued...

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